Youth Ministry Help

Four Ways to Build the Self Esteem of “Generation Screen”

four-ways-to-build-the-self-esteem-of-generation-screen

In a World Where Teen Self-Esteem
Is at a Historic Low
by Jonathan McKee

Teens have always been self-conscious. It’s almost a rite of passage during adolescence.

Who am I?

Where do I fit in?

Do people like me?

But a world where 89% of teenagers have smartphones in their pocket and 97% are on social media, it’s never been more difficult navigating self-esteem as a teen with a screen.

Consider what doors mobile screens have opened:

  • Just a few years ago we all didn’t carry around freshly posted images of people who look better than us and doing something waaaaay more fun than us.
  • Popularity used to have nothing to do with how many friends, followers or likes we garnered on social media.
  • Used to be if you dropped the ball in the big game or tripped and fell in front of the classroom. . .it wasn’t posted on social media for all to watch, rewatch, share, like, and comment for eternity.
  • Never in history have we had such bad advice at our fingertips, like the easy access to daily posts and “stories” of celebrity role models in our pocket. Want relationship advice? Get it from a Kardashion. Want career advice? Post Malone sure seems pretty cool. Spiritual advice? Lady Gaga’s spiritual.
  • Bullying used to happen in person after school; now it reaches into the safety of our own bedroom, 24/7.
  • Used to be if a girl broke up with her boyfriend, he didn’t retaliate by sending the entire school that revealing pic she now realized she shouldn’t have taken, and definitely shouldn’t have shared.

The fact is, that little device we love so much and carry around with us in our pockets has changed everything about how we feel about ourselves. The smartphone is not only a hub of unfiltered entertainment media, it’s also a real-time barometer of self-esteem reminding us just how “liked” we are, exactly how many friends we have, and what people think of us at any moment.

Maybe that’s why experts like Dr. Jean Twenge are contesting those attempting to dismiss the connection between smartphones and mental health. “Don’t believe them,” she says. Simply said, the more time you spend online, the more unhappy and depressed you are.

So how do we talk to a generation struggling with ‘self’?

Start with what we know. What are some of the facts you wish our kids understood about their own mental health and feelings about self?

Wouldn’t it be cool if our kids knew. . .

  • Our identity is in Christ, and that takes the focus off of us and onto Him. Hence, the more we focus on Him, the less we worry about us.
  • Too much tech time is linked to depression. Heavy users of digital media (over two hours a day) are twice as likely to be depressed as light users.
  • Sleep deprivation increases anxiety and depression. Teens are four times as likely to be depressed when they’re sleep deprived.
  • When we are given the opportunity to empathize and/or serve others we become less focused on self.

So what can we do to help our kids learn these truths and help them feel better about themselves?

4 Strategic Practices Building Young Peoples’ Self Esteem

1. Remind them who they are
The more our kids focus on Christ, the less they obsess about themselves.

Have you talked to your kids about their identity in Christ? Wouldn’t it be cool if kids understood not only how valuable they are to God, but who they are in Christ?

One of the most effective ways I find helping kids open up about their identity is through music. Young people love music and many songs provoke feelings about ‘self’. We can use these songs to point them to God’s word.

Here’s a few examples of MUSIC DISCUSSIONS from our TheSource4YM.com Music Discussions page, using both secular and Christian songs. Every one of these FREE discussions includes scripture and small group questions:

Everything Glorious, by David Crowder Band

Me, by Taylor Swift

You Say, by Lauren Dangle

Scars to Your Beautiful, by Alessia Cara

Help your kids understand their incredible value. Like David Crowder sings:

You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

When kids begin to recognize their identity in Christ, they tend to become aware of their strengths or giftedness. And if you want to see a kid really shine. . .

2. Give them an opportunity to use their strengths/gifts
We live in a very interesting time right now. On one hand young people have never been so inundated with messages of “just do you” and “you just gotta do what’s best for you!” (Self-centeredness 101) At the same time young people have been raised earning hours as a volunteer and following celebrities who want to “give back.” Help homeless horses. Save sick seagulls. Serving is “in.” An interesting by-product of this culture is that kids want to make an impact (and post a picture on Insta of themselves doing it).

Give your kids opportunities to serve like Christ served. Take students to a homeless shelter or organize a neighborhood cleanup day. Do something where kids get an opportunity to be a light for Jesus through acts of service. When kids are given the opportunity to help others they typically experience empathy. Highly empathetic people report greater self-esteem and a deeper sense of purpose than those who report lower levels of empathy. But more than that, serving like Christ builds your identity in Christ.

And service opportunities open another door that helps kids’ self esteem. . .

3. Challenge students to join you on a “media-fast”
Give your kids a chance to fast from their phones.

I know, I know. . .studies show kids would give up a car. . .or their pinky finger. . .rather than give up their smartphone. But I’ve seen an increasing amount of young people becoming self aware of the lure of the smartphone and social media. In fact, almost 70% of 13-18-year-olds said they “would like to spend more time socializing face to face rather than online.”

So why not challenge them:

“Do you think you could go a day without any digital media?”

“How about a week?”

Don’t just challenge them—join them. Make it part of your training for your next service project.

“All of us who are taking part of our Spring Break missions trip are going to go on a one-week media-fast the week before the trip.”

You might be surprised with the results. Kids who break free from the grip of their smartphone always show greater rates of satisfaction. In fact, research has never been so clear:

Teens who spend more time than average on screen activities are more likely to be unhappy, and those who spend more time than average on nonscreen activities are more likely to be happy.

So don’t be scared to give students a nudge in that general direction. Maybe you can lead by example.

And finally. . .

4. Educate parents how to build into their kids’ self-esteem
Pass on articles like this to parents, like the ones linked in this article, or ones specifically to parents like these articles from TheSource4Parents.com:

But Mom, I really need my phone in my bedroom

Helping Kids Hear Truth in a World Blaring Lies

Helping Your Kids Think Before They Click

3 Ingredients Catalyzing the Spike In Teen Depression

And if parents don’t want to read, then point parents to free podcasts for parents.

Or better yet, offer a parent workshop where you bring in an outside expert to talk with parents about the effects of smartphones and social media on “Generation Screen” and how to respond.

In a world where anxiety, depression, and teen suicide are at an unprecedented high, it’s never been a more perfect time to build into our kids’ self-esteem.

The little device in their pocket is providing all kinds of lies about who they are. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone was telling them the truth?

What are you waiting for?

FOR MORE ON THE SUBJECT OF SOCIAL MEDIA, LIKES, AND THE PRESSURE TO BE LIKED, TAKE A PEEK AT THE TEEN’S GUIDE TO SOCIAL MEDIA & MOBILE DEVICES AND THE GUY’S GUIDE TO FOUR BATTLES EVERY YOUNG MAN MUST FACE

88 Comments
Share

Jonathan McKee

Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Guy's Guide to FOUR BATTLES Every Young Man Must Face; The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices; If I Had a Parenting Do Over; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers on TheSource4YM.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.

Recommended To You

experiences-that-teach

Experiences that Teach

owning-their-faith

Owning Their Faith

let-them-lead

Let them Lead

88 Comments

  1. Self Esteem Activities for Kids Who Are Part of Generation Screen
    August 8, 2019 at 12:55 am

    […] few weeks ago I wrote an article to youth leaders providing them with some advice to build the self esteem of the students they work with. Let’s look specifically at what parents can […]

  2. Edwardhip
    April 23, 2025 at 3:31 pm

    casino olympe: olympe casino – olympe casino

  3. Bradleytib
    April 25, 2025 at 3:30 am

    Pharmacie sans ordonnance: Pharmacie en ligne France – Achat mГ©dicament en ligne fiable pharmafst.com

  4. BillieBob
    April 25, 2025 at 5:08 am

    pharmacie en ligne: Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h – pharmacie en ligne livraison europe pharmafst.com

  5. Bernardnes
    April 25, 2025 at 5:52 am

    cialis prix: Cialis sans ordonnance 24h – Cialis sans ordonnance 24h tadalmed.shop

  6. PeterDor
    April 25, 2025 at 8:18 am

    Cialis sans ordonnance pas cher cialis sans ordonnance Tadalafil sans ordonnance en ligne tadalmed.com

  7. Bradleytib
    April 25, 2025 at 9:36 am

    Acheter Cialis: Cialis sans ordonnance pas cher – Cialis sans ordonnance 24h tadalmed.shop

  8. Bernardnes
    April 25, 2025 at 10:05 am

    Cialis sans ordonnance 24h: Cialis sans ordonnance pas cher – Acheter Viagra Cialis sans ordonnance tadalmed.shop

  9. Bernardnes
    April 26, 2025 at 7:44 am

    kamagra oral jelly: Acheter Kamagra site fiable – Achetez vos kamagra medicaments

  10. Bradleytib
    April 26, 2025 at 9:15 am

    pharmacie en ligne fiable: pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance – pharmacie en ligne fiable pharmafst.com

  11. PeterDor
    April 26, 2025 at 10:08 am

    pharmacie en ligne avec ordonnance pharmacie en ligne Pharmacie Internationale en ligne pharmafst.shop

  12. BillieBob
    April 28, 2025 at 5:40 am

    pharmacie en ligne france fiable: pharmacie en ligne – pharmacie en ligne france pas cher pharmafst.com

  13. PeterDor
    April 28, 2025 at 5:44 am

    Kamagra Commander maintenant kamagra livraison 24h Kamagra Oral Jelly pas cher

  14. Stevenzen
    April 28, 2025 at 10:51 am

    Medicine From India: indian pharmacy online – indian pharmacy

  15. Michaelkah
    April 28, 2025 at 11:57 am

    RxExpressMexico mexican rx online mexican rx online

  16. Walterlip
    April 28, 2025 at 12:34 pm

    https://rxexpressmexico.com/# RxExpressMexico

  17. Dannycep
    April 28, 2025 at 12:39 pm

    northern pharmacy canada: Generic drugs from Canada – my canadian pharmacy

  18. Michaelcet
    April 29, 2025 at 6:17 am

    Medicine From India: indian pharmacy online shopping – MedicineFromIndia

  19. Dannycep
    April 29, 2025 at 7:26 am

    reputable indian pharmacies: Medicine From India – indian pharmacy

  20. ZackaryPoimb
    May 2, 2025 at 3:39 am

    https://pinupaz.top/# pinup az

  21. Richardamulp
    May 2, 2025 at 4:34 am

    pin up az pin-up pinup az

  22. Richardamulp
    May 6, 2025 at 5:38 pm

    pin-up pin up azerbaycan pin up az

  23. Elmerwab
    May 6, 2025 at 6:18 pm

    pin up: pin-up – pin up azerbaycan

  24. KennethWooma
    May 6, 2025 at 6:42 pm

    пин ап казино: пин ап казино официальный сайт – пин ап казино

  25. Elmerwab
    May 7, 2025 at 11:36 am

    pin-up casino giris: pinup az – pin up casino

  26. KennethWooma
    May 7, 2025 at 12:13 pm

    пин ап казино официальный сайт: пинап казино – пинап казино

  27. Richardamulp
    May 7, 2025 at 12:22 pm

    pin up azerbaycan pin up pin up casino

  28. ZackaryPoimb
    May 7, 2025 at 3:14 pm

    https://pinuprus.pro/# пинап казино

  29. Robertdrono
    May 9, 2025 at 3:50 am

    reliable online pharmacy Cialis: best price Cialis tablets – discreet shipping ED pills

  30. Jeremynek
    May 9, 2025 at 5:08 am

    modafinil pharmacy: purchase Modafinil without prescription – modafinil 2025

  31. Ronaldneose
    May 9, 2025 at 7:10 am

    http://modafinilmd.store/# buy modafinil online

  32. Lorenzonor
    May 9, 2025 at 8:42 am

    reliable online pharmacy Cialis online Cialis pharmacy FDA approved generic Cialis

  33. Robertdrono
    May 9, 2025 at 9:48 am

    Modafinil for sale: safe modafinil purchase – purchase Modafinil without prescription

  34. Jeremynek
    May 9, 2025 at 10:56 am

    best price for Viagra: discreet shipping – legit Viagra online

  35. Robertdrono
    May 9, 2025 at 12:01 pm

    discreet shipping ED pills: online Cialis pharmacy – Cialis without prescription

  36. Ronaldneose
    May 9, 2025 at 12:53 pm

    http://maxviagramd.com/# best price for Viagra

  37. Albertoren
    May 9, 2025 at 1:08 pm

    cheap Viagra online: same-day Viagra shipping – cheap Viagra online

  38. Lorenzonor
    May 9, 2025 at 2:57 pm

    safe modafinil purchase safe modafinil purchase modafinil legality

  39. Jeremynek
    May 9, 2025 at 4:22 pm

    Cialis without prescription: online Cialis pharmacy – buy generic Cialis online

  40. Robertdrono
    May 9, 2025 at 5:03 pm

    purchase Modafinil without prescription: Modafinil for sale – buy modafinil online

  41. Albertoren
    May 9, 2025 at 5:48 pm

    order Viagra discreetly: buy generic Viagra online – safe online pharmacy

  42. Ronaldneose
    May 9, 2025 at 6:46 pm

    https://maxviagramd.shop/# legit Viagra online

  43. Lorenzonor
    May 9, 2025 at 9:06 pm

    online Cialis pharmacy order Cialis online no prescription generic tadalafil

  44. Jeremynek
    May 9, 2025 at 9:40 pm

    modafinil pharmacy: safe modafinil purchase – doctor-reviewed advice

  45. Robertdrono
    May 9, 2025 at 9:51 pm

    cheap Viagra online: generic sildenafil 100mg – order Viagra discreetly

  46. Albertoren
    May 9, 2025 at 10:22 pm

    purchase Modafinil without prescription: legal Modafinil purchase – modafinil legality

  47. Jeremynek
    May 9, 2025 at 11:23 pm

    order Cialis online no prescription: affordable ED medication – Cialis without prescription

  48. Lorenzonor
    May 9, 2025 at 11:34 pm

    discreet shipping ED pills best price Cialis tablets affordable ED medication

  49. Robertdrono
    May 10, 2025 at 2:47 am

    reliable online pharmacy Cialis: reliable online pharmacy Cialis – affordable ED medication

  50. Jeremynek
    May 10, 2025 at 5:07 am

    verified Modafinil vendors: purchase Modafinil without prescription – modafinil pharmacy

  51. Lorenzonor
    May 10, 2025 at 5:30 am

    Modafinil for sale modafinil legality modafinil 2025

  52. Robertdrono
    May 10, 2025 at 7:58 am

    Viagra without prescription: trusted Viagra suppliers – secure checkout Viagra

  53. Albertoren
    May 10, 2025 at 8:24 am

    safe modafinil purchase: verified Modafinil vendors – purchase Modafinil without prescription

  54. Jeremynek
    May 10, 2025 at 10:55 am

    safe modafinil purchase: modafinil legality – modafinil legality

  55. Lorenzonor
    May 10, 2025 at 11:31 am

    safe online pharmacy cheap Viagra online buy generic Viagra online

  56. Robertdrono
    May 10, 2025 at 1:20 pm

    modafinil pharmacy: modafinil pharmacy – purchase Modafinil without prescription

  57. Albertoren
    May 10, 2025 at 1:21 pm

    doctor-reviewed advice: buy modafinil online – legal Modafinil purchase

  58. Ronaldneose
    May 10, 2025 at 2:38 pm

    https://zipgenericmd.shop/# FDA approved generic Cialis

  59. Jeremynek
    May 10, 2025 at 4:51 pm

    reliable online pharmacy Cialis: secure checkout ED drugs – order Cialis online no prescription

  60. Lorenzonor
    May 10, 2025 at 5:37 pm

    best price for Viagra safe online pharmacy no doctor visit required

  61. Albertoren
    May 10, 2025 at 6:05 pm

    discreet shipping: best price for Viagra – order Viagra discreetly

  62. Robertdrono
    May 10, 2025 at 6:35 pm

    same-day Viagra shipping: order Viagra discreetly – secure checkout Viagra

  63. Ronaldneose
    May 10, 2025 at 8:17 pm

    https://modafinilmd.store/# verified Modafinil vendors

  64. Jeremynek
    May 10, 2025 at 10:21 pm

    order Cialis online no prescription: online Cialis pharmacy – FDA approved generic Cialis

  65. Albertoren
    May 10, 2025 at 10:49 pm

    buy modafinil online: legal Modafinil purchase – verified Modafinil vendors

  66. Lorenzonor
    May 10, 2025 at 11:21 pm

    online Cialis pharmacy order Cialis online no prescription FDA approved generic Cialis

  67. Robertdrono
    May 10, 2025 at 11:37 pm

    generic tadalafil: reliable online pharmacy Cialis – best price Cialis tablets

  68. Ronaldneose
    May 11, 2025 at 1:52 am

    https://zipgenericmd.shop/# generic tadalafil

  69. Albertoren
    May 11, 2025 at 3:35 am

    doctor-reviewed advice: modafinil legality – purchase Modafinil without prescription

  70. Jeremynek
    May 11, 2025 at 4:24 am

    best price for Viagra: discreet shipping – cheap Viagra online

  71. Robertdrono
    May 11, 2025 at 5:01 am

    modafinil pharmacy: legal Modafinil purchase – safe modafinil purchase

  72. Ronaldneose
    May 11, 2025 at 7:39 am

    http://zipgenericmd.com/# order Cialis online no prescription

  73. Robertdrono
    May 11, 2025 at 10:30 am

    discreet shipping: best price for Viagra – order Viagra discreetly

  74. Jeremynek
    May 11, 2025 at 10:46 am

    best price Cialis tablets: order Cialis online no prescription – generic tadalafil

  75. Lorenzonor
    May 11, 2025 at 11:43 am

    purchase Modafinil without prescription purchase Modafinil without prescription Modafinil for sale

  76. Ronaldneose
    May 11, 2025 at 1:33 pm

    https://zipgenericmd.shop/# reliable online pharmacy Cialis

  77. Albertoren
    May 11, 2025 at 2:06 pm

    Viagra without prescription: order Viagra discreetly – legit Viagra online

  78. Robertdrono
    May 11, 2025 at 4:01 pm

    Modafinil for sale: purchase Modafinil without prescription – doctor-reviewed advice

  79. Jeremynek
    May 11, 2025 at 5:13 pm

    Modafinil for sale: verified Modafinil vendors – doctor-reviewed advice

  80. Lorenzonor
    May 11, 2025 at 5:58 pm

    order Cialis online no prescription secure checkout ED drugs reliable online pharmacy Cialis

  81. Albertoren
    May 11, 2025 at 7:30 pm

    cheap Viagra online: generic sildenafil 100mg – cheap Viagra online

  82. Ronaldneose
    May 11, 2025 at 7:34 pm

    http://zipgenericmd.com/# cheap Cialis online

  83. Robertdrono
    May 11, 2025 at 9:34 pm

    legal Modafinil purchase: modafinil legality – Modafinil for sale

  84. Jeremynek
    May 11, 2025 at 11:40 pm

    discreet shipping ED pills: FDA approved generic Cialis – cheap Cialis online

  85. Lorenzonor
    May 12, 2025 at 12:18 am

    modafinil 2025 modafinil pharmacy verified Modafinil vendors

  86. Albertoren
    May 12, 2025 at 12:43 am

    reliable online pharmacy Cialis: secure checkout ED drugs – Cialis without prescription

  87. Ronaldneose
    May 12, 2025 at 1:39 am

    https://modafinilmd.store/# buy modafinil online

  88. Robertdrono
    May 12, 2025 at 3:23 am

    same-day Viagra shipping: trusted Viagra suppliers – no doctor visit required

Reply your comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked*