Music Discussions

The Daughters


The Daughters – Little Big Town

Main Point: Though God has wired us differently, we were all created to do his handiwork.

About the Artist – Little Big Town

Formed in 1999, Karen Fairchild, Kimberly Schlapman, Jimi Westbrook and Phillip Sweet make up Little big Town. The group operates without a lead singer, instead trading lead vocal duties and relying on each other’s harmonies. Their debut album in 2002 flopped causing them to be dropped from their label before being resurrected by country star Clint Black’s Equity Music Group label. Their new album The Road to Here was well-received critically, and spawned the smash hit single Boondocks. They have since released a total of eight studio albums and twenty-six singles, winning three Grammy Awards, eight CMA awards, eight ACM awards, an Emmy award and several others, including a CMT Artist of the Year award in 2015.

Song Lyrics – The Daughters

Oh girl, wash your face ‘fore you come to the table
Girl, know your place, be willing and able
Take it on the chin, let the best man win
Girl, shoulders back and stand up straight
Girl, watch your mouth and watch your weight
Mind your manners, smile for the camera 

And pose like a trophy on a shelf
Dream for everyone but not yourself
I’ve heard of God the Son and God the Father
I’m still looking for a God for the daughters 

Girl don’t be weak and don’t be strong
Say what you want just as long
As you nod your head with your lipstick on 

And pose like a trophy on a shelf
And dream for everyone but not yourself
I’ve heard of God the Son and God the Father
I’m just looking for a God for the daughters 

Wash the dishes, feed the kids and clean up all this mess
Do my best, forgive myself and look good in this dress
Da*n I look good in this dress 

And pose like a trophy on a shelf
I’ll dream for everyone but not myself
I’ve heard of God the Son and God the Father
And da*n I love my son, I love my father
I’m just looking for a God for the daughters
I’m just looking for a God for the daughters 

For the daughters
I’m just looking for a God
For the daughters
For the daughters

Introducing the Song – You Say This: The Daughters is described as a country song that details the special challenges girls and women face due to societal expectations. Little Big Town singer Phillip Sweet speaks about the song saying, You know, we feel like it’s our ninth studio album and we’ve lived a lot of lives together. We get to say some things we really care about. Each member of the band is raising daughters so they penned a song that is about just teaching girls that… believe in yourself and you can do anything.

The Music Video: The music video can be viewed for free at:

Hand out Lyrics and Play Song.

Transition Statement – You Say This: The expectations society places on people seems to vary depending on many factors. This song focuses on the different expectations placed on females and draws some conclusions based on those expectations. The reality of why each of us is here on this is a question most people ask, so in light of this song let’s take some time and talk about this and see what God has to say on the subject.

Divide into Small Groups: Let’s go ahead and split up into our discussion groups, and then afterward we’ll come back together for a final word.

CLICK HERE for a quick training article on how to maximize your small groups using our small group format – a great resource to equip your small group leaders.

Discussion Questions: 

  1. AROUND THE CIRCLE: As a teenager, what are some expectations you feel society has on you?
  2. ASK A FEW: Looking at the lyrics to this song, what are some the expectations the songwriters would say society has placed on girls? Do you agree with them? Explain why you think the way you do.
  3. ASK A FEW: What do you think they mean when they sing, And dream for everyone but not yourself?
  4. ASK A FEW: What do you think these lyrics mean: I’ve heard of God the Son and God the Father, I’m still looking for a God for the daughters? What do you think about this?
  5. ASK A FEW: Do you think expectations of people should be different based on their gender? Explain why you think the way you do.
  6. ASK A FEW: Why do you think God created people to be wired so differently?
  7. ASK A FEW: What is something in how God has wired you that you think makes you mostly different from others?
  8. ASK A FEW: What do you think about the idea that if you believe in yourself you can do anything?

Read the following passage:

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

  1. ASK A FEW: Read Ephesians 2:1-10. What are some things you observe about these verses?
  1. ASK A FEW: What do these verses say about who God is? What do they say about you and I?
  1. ASK A FEW: What do you suppose it means to be God’s handiwork?
  1. ASK A FEW: According to Ephesians 2:10, what purpose did God create people for? What do you think this means?
  1. ASK A FEW: When you consider verses 8-9, do you think the good works mentioned are possible for those who have not been saved?
  1. ASK A FEW: Do you think your purpose changes depending on how God has wired you? Explain why you think the way you do.
  1. ASK A FEW: What does it say about God’s view of us that He would create you and I to do His work?
  1. ASK A FEW: What does it look like in your life to live out the purpose God created you for?

Wrap Up – You say this:  The phrase “believe in yourself and you can do anything” is a great sentiment, but is not a statement you can put your trust in. I can believe in myself to the fullest extent possible and I will still not play Major League Baseball. You might believe in yourself to an incredible degree and still not win The Voice or another singing reality show. The great truth is that God has created you for something even greater than anything you or I could possibly dream up. He has created you to be involved in His work in this world. He made you to display His never-ending greatness, and to be a tangible representative of His truth, grace, and love. God has reached into your life for the purpose of being involved in something far greater than yourself – being involved in His mission in this world. Take a moment and reflect on what that means for you to be created by God for His work in this world. 

(Pause and give them a quiet moment to pray silently.) 

God has wired you differently from others. You may be male or female, tall or short, athletic or creative, loud or quiet, strategic or impulsive – and all of these things He can use as you walk out the good works He created you for. While your purpose will not change – you were created as His handiwork to do His works – the way you live that out will be different from another. He may use you to teach, to encourage, to build, or something else, all depending on how He wired you. Take a moment to thank God for how He wired you. Be specific. Thank Him for your physical, emotional, intellectual characteristics. Thank Him for your specific abilities and gifts. 

(Pause and give them a few moments to pray silently.) 

It’s an awesome thing to realize God created you lovingly, creatively, and purposefully. While society may place expectations on people that might not be fair, God is inviting each of us to lay all those things aside and follow after Him with our whole being. Let’s be people who refuse to spend time focusing on what we are not or what we perceive as fair or unfair, and instead let’s be those who embrace our purpose and chase after it above all else. May God help you grab hold of the way He has wired you with thankfulness and purpose! 



Rob Chagdes

Rob Chagdes is one of the pastors at Prairie Lakes Church in northern Iowa. In the years since he met Jesus as a sixteen year old, Rob has spent his life working to raise up the next generation to love God and invite others into His unending story. He spends most of his free time with his wife Leslie, their three amazing daughters, and their energetic dog Jedi. You can reach Rob at .

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