The Misadventures of Shut Up and Trouble

For this skit, you will need 5 actors/actress.
Actor #1: Shut Up (main character needs to be a girl)
Actor #2: Trouble (Shut Up’s pet dog, best if it is a guy)
Actor #3: Teacher (best if a girl)
Actor #4: Office Secretary (best if a girl)
Actor #5: Principal (best if guy)

The scene opens with Shut Up happily skipping to the center of the stage with her dog, Trouble.

Shut Up: (when she arrives at the center of the stage, she says very politely) Hello everyone. My name is Shut Up. This is my dog Trouble. (Trouble should scratch himself and/or sniff around and maybe bark and pant a little) He is such a good dog! I got him 3 years ago when we moved from the island of Fiji where my dad worked for Emperor Mukulah. (at this point, Trouble scampers off, never to be seen again) I hope he likes his new home here in (insert name of your city/town). It’s our first day, and I am looking forward to attending (insert name of local high school). C’mon Trouble, let’s go. (at this point, Shut Up notices that Trouble is nowhere to be found) Trouble! Where are you? CÕmere boy! Trouble! (to the audience) Did you see which way Trouble went? (Shut Up looks for her dog for a few seconds, but realizes she will be late for school unless she hurries) Oh no. I’ve got to head to school, or I will be late. I’ll have to look for him later. (runs over to the Teacher who is across the stage)

Teacher: Yes? Who are you?

Shut Up: Shut Up.

Teacher: Excuse me?

Shut Up: (a little louder) I said, Shut Up! It’s my first day here.

Teacher: With that kind of attitude, it’s gonna be your last day here! To the principal’s office, young lady! (Shut Up, a little confused, shrugs her shoulders and moves to another part of the stage where the Office Secretary is sitting)

Secretary: (very disinterested in helping anybody) Name and reason for being here?

Shut Up: Shut Up. The teacher sent me.

Secretary: (now a very nasty attitude) Oh, we’re gonna play it like that, are we? Nobody talks to Mrs. Joanie Krump that way! (presses a button on the table to intercom the principal)

Principal: (over the intercom) Yes, Mrs. Krump?

Secretary: (glaring at Shut Up) I got a live one out here for ya, Mr. Haginstash. She won’t talk to me!

Principal: Well, send her in, Mrs. Krump. (Shut Up walks into the principal’s office which is in another section of the stage)

Shut Up: (a little confused by the sudden turn of events) Good morning Principal Haginstash.

Principal: (a little condescending) What is your name young lady?

Shut Up: Shut Up.

Principal: (offended) I beg your pardon!

Shut Up: (a little louder this time) I said, Shut Up.

Principal: Young lady, are you looking for trouble?

Shut Up: (very excitedly) As a matter of fact, I am! Have you seen him?