Thanks Lord, But No Thanks

This skit can be used as a great opener for the topic of “Why God allows bad things to happen” or for the topic of “Prayer.”

Plot Summary: Tim feels God has failed him in his life and blames the Lord, but at the end he realizes that the Lord does indeed have a plan for his life.

Main Point: We go through hard times in our lives, but we have no idea what God has already planned to do with and through those hard times.

Characters: 1

(on the phone, frustrated) I know, Dad, but I feel like he’s not keeping any of his promises… I know… Okay, I’ll talk to him… What’s that?… Philippians 4:6? Okay… Yeah, I’ll read it… Okay, thanks Dad. I’ll talk to you later… Okay… Bye.

(Hangs up phone, then picks up Bible. Sits down and looks up Philippians 4:6) Okay, Philippians 4:6, here we go. (finds it) “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (begins praying) Okay, Lord, I guess that I’m supposed to pray to you now. So Lord, thanks for today. Thanks for the weather; it’s a nice day outside. Oh yeah, and Lord? (takes on bold tone) You stink at your job. I just thought you’d like to know that. You know, you’ve got like one main job to do, and that’s to take care of your servants. And you know, God, you’re not very good at doing that.

Here in Philippians it says that I’m supposed to pray to you with thanksgiving? Well, that’s fine Lord, allow me to show my appreciation. (sarcastic tone) God, thank you so much for putting me in a school where everyone else is smarter than me and cooler than me and better at sports than me. That was really cool of you. Thanks, God. Oh yeah, and thanks so much for giving me this huge nose and awkward face. People are always teasing me, God, so thanks a bunch for all that attention. Gosh, Lord, that’s exactly the kind of attention a guy like me would want. Thanks for that God. Oh, and thanks for letting my cat get hit by a truck last week. That was excellent. (thinks a little about it) Actually, no, seriously, God, thanks. I hated that cat.

Oh, and God, one more little thanks to you for your handiwork. In Jeremiah you say that you have plans for my life, plans to not harm me. Well, again, thanks for nothing, Lord. Why did you have to let my parents get divorced? You say you have plans for my life and this is what you take me through? Gosh, Lord, thanks for nothing. If this is the plan you have for my life, I don’t want any part of it. There’s no reason that you would want to do something like this in my life. God, there’s no reason for it. So thanks a lot. I’m done trusting you. I don’t want you to plan out my life any more. Amen.

(phone rings) Hello? Oh, hey Nick, what’s up?… Oh my gosh, are you serious?… They were fighting a lot?… And now they’re getting divorced? Are you serious?… Oh, Nick… Okay, listen, I’m coming over… Of course I’ll come over, bro, yeah… Nick, I know what you’re going through. Don’t go anywhere. I’m coming right over. (hangs up phone)

Lord, seriously. Thank you for your plan for my life. Thank you that I know what Nick’s going through. And now, just give me the right words to say to him. I love you, Lord. Amen. (exits)