Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (12/16/2014)

Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence.

Starring Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Johnny Knoxville (voice) and Tony Shalhoub (voice)

Directed by Jonathan Liebesman (Wrath of the Titans and Battle Los Angeles)

Thank you Michael Bay for ruining another fond childhood memory.

The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April O’Neil (Megan Fox) and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick (Will Arnett) to save the city and unravel Shredder’s diabolical plan.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a reboot of the franchise that began with comic books and morphed into a cartoon and then into films in the late ’80s and early ’90s. But make no mistake about it; this is essentially a Transformers movie. There is the classic Michael Bay production, complete with mass destruction, urban panic, product placement, explosions and …well, Megan Fox.

Speaking of Fox, she is back working for Bay after infamously comparing him to Adolf Hitler. If you remember, she was booted from the Transformers series after the first two films. Now as the producer, Bay appears to have forgiven her and given her the role of television reporter April O’Neil. The funny thing is that is the most believable part of this train wreck. Go ahead, let that sink in for a minute.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is bland and boring. There’s nothing spectacular about this “blockbuster.” I hated the “new plot twists” this film introduced…like the turtles being April’s pets…ugh. I wasn’t surprised that the film was heavy on the CGI and light on the story, but I was hoping director Jonathan Liebesman would have brought more to the table.

The story and director were subpar, and the cast did not impress either. I really like Will Arnett, but he could not save this film with Megan Fox in the lead role. William Fichtner is OK, but one of the more bizarre casting choices is Whoopi Goldberg. It just was so out of place.

But the biggest problem is the look of the turtles and Shredder. Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo and Raphael are far from the loveable pizza eating characters I remember from my youth and more like the dark characters from the comics – but still safely in the kid friendly PG-13 world. And Shredder is more like a …well like a Transformer…come on.

You know it’s bad when you’re actually hoping Vanilla Ice shows up and starts rapping with the turtles…(that didn’t happen). But I doubt it would have helped… it’s a “Coaster” for me.

SHOULD KIDS SEE IT?
There is no sex or nudity and the language is on the mild side. The violence and fight scenes can get pretty intense and may upset young children.

CONVERSATION STARTER:

1. Who is your favorite turtle? Why?


2. What are some of the differences between the turtles?


3. Why do you think (despite their differences) they make such a good team?

Read 1 Corinthians 12:12-26

12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.



4. According to this passage, why is it important that we be “one body”?


5. How can you do a better job of being part of the body?