Stupid Skits

Hu's on First

This is long, but if you have two people who can pull it off, paced well, it might be worthy of Abbott and CostelloÕs famous Baseball Almanac comedy radio skit ÒWhoÕs on FirstÓ! (To listen to the original audio, go here: http://susie1114.com/WhosOnFirst.html.)

You'll need two people for this skit – one who can portray President George W. Bush and one who can play Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice. Both should wear suits.

Props: a chair behind a desk for the president and a chair beside it for Ms. Rice. Other desk props add to the scene.

Introduce the skit by saying, “We now take you to the Oval Office.”

President Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condoleezza Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

President Bush: Great. Lay it on me.

Condoleezza Rice: Hu is the new leader of China.

President Bush: That's what I want to know.

Condoleezza Rice: That's what I'm telling you.

President Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes.

President Bush: I mean the fellow's name.

Condoleezza Rice: Hu.

President Bush: The guy in China.

Condoleezza Rice: Hu.

President Bush: The new leader of China.

Condoleezza Rice: Hu.

President Bush: The Chinaman!

Condoleezza Rice: Hu is leading China.

President Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condoleezza Rice: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

President Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condoleezza Rice: That's the man's name.

President Bush: That's who's name?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes.

President Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condoleezza Rice: That's correct.

President Bush: Then who is in China?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: Yassir is in China?

Condoleezza Rice: No, sir.

President Bush: Then who is?

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: Yassir?

Condoleezza Rice: No, sir.

President Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condoleezza Rice: Kofi?

President Bush: No, thanks.

Condoleezza Rice: You want Kofi?

President Bush: No.

Condoleezza Rice: You don't want Kofi.

President Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condoleezza Rice: Kofi?

President Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condoleezza Rice: And call who?

President Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condoleezza Rice: Hu is the guy in China.

President Bush: Will you stay out of China?!

Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.

President Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condoleezza Rice: Kofi.

President Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Dr. Rice picks up the phone.)

Condoleezza Rice: Rice, here.

President Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Idea by Miranda

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Jonathan McKee

Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Bullying Breakthrough; The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices; If I Had a Parenting Do Over; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers on TheSource4YM.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.

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