Last Stand (5/21/2013)

Rated R for strong bloody violence throughout, and language.

Staring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Johnny Knoxville, Forest Whitaker and Luis Guzman

Directed by Kim Jee-Woon

I really wish I could have been in the pitch meeting when they pitched a 65-year-old Arnold Schwarzenegger and Johnny Knoxville being in the same movie. I would have done everything possible to stop it.

After leaving his LAPD narcotics post following a bungled operation that left him wracked with remorse and regret, Sheriff Ray Owens (Schwarzenegger) moved out of Los Angeles and settled into a life fighting what little crime takes place in the sleepy border town of Sommerton Junction. But that peaceful existence is shattered when Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega), the most notorious, wanted drug kingpin in the western hemisphere, makes a deadly yet spectacular escape from an FBI prisoner convoy.

With the help of a fierce band of lawless mercenaries led by the icy Burrell (Peter Stormare), Cortez begins racing towards the US-Mexico border at 250 mph in a specially-outfitted Corvette ZR1 with a hostage in tow. Cortez’ path: straight through Summerton Junction, where the whole of the U.S. law enforcement, including Agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker) will have their final opportunity to intercept him before the violent fugitive slips across the border forever.

At first reluctant to become involved, and then counted out because of the perceived ineptitude of his small town force, Owens ultimately rallies his team and takes the matter into his own hands, setting the stage for a classic showdown.

Seriously someone approved $30,000,000 to make that movie (it only made $12 million).

Everything about The Last Stand is designed to revive Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career. Which makes the title the funniest “joke” of the entire film. But with only $12 million coming it, who knows if he’ll be ba— … oh, forget it. You’ll get enough of that sort of thing if you see the movie. The script is a mess, built on lazy clichés, lame jokes and easy payoffs.

Whitaker isn’t the easiest to watch (waste of his talent), Guzmán is shamelessly hammy as our comic relief, and Knoxville seems to be improvising his ridiculous role.

And then there’s Arnold. He calls himself old; someone immediately contradicts him. He moves slowly, but miraculously puts away criminals half his age.

I’m still angry about the $30 million that was thrown away…that’s one very expensive “coaster.”

SHOULD KIDS SEE IT?
Although there is no sex, there is plenty of violence in this R-rated film.

There are about 16-17 f words, 20 s-words and plenty of milder profanities.

CONVERSATION STARTER

1. What are some words you would use to describe great?


2. Would you consider yourself brave?


3. Read 1 Corinthians 16:13
   
   Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.
   
   What do you think it means to “be on your guard”?


4. Where are you tempted to not be strong in your faith?


5. What are some ways you can be strong and courageous and stand firm in your faith this week?