Movie Reviews

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (11/3/2009)


Rated PG-13 for strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout.

Directed by Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing, The Mummy and The Mummy Returns)

Starring Dennis Quaid, Marlon Wayans, Channing Tatum, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, and Ray Park

What happened to the Real American Heroes??

Paramount Pictures and Hasbro, whose previous collaboration was the worldwide blockbuster Transformers, join forces with Spyglass Entertainment for another action-adventure G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from taking over the world.

I’m not even going to pretend I wasn’t a G.I. Joe kid. I had all the toys, watched the TV show and all the cartoon movies. So when I say I was excited to see Rise of Cobra, I mean I WAS REALLY EXCITED TO SEE RISE OF COBRA! And right before the movie started I flashbacked to a film I really enjoyed called Fanboys about a group of Star Wars fanboys who go on a crazy mission to get a sneak peak at Star Wars, Episode I before it was released. At the end, just before Episode I begins, the guys look at each other and say, “What if this movie sucks?” I asked that same question as the theater went dark… and unfortunately, it did.

As a fan, I didn’t like the new back stories and connections between almost all the characters. I know how I sound, but the characters were already developed years ago… just go with it. Not only were they new and ridiculous, but they chose to tell them through way-too-many flashbacks which turned out to be very annoying. As far as the cast, it was almost impossible to take Channing Tatum seriously and at one point I actually felt bad for Dennis Quaid who looked like he was tricked into playing Hawk.

I will say that the special effects and fight sequences were all done well and there were a few scenes that paid homage to the cartoon, but even those came across as forced and cheesy. It was clear that the intent of the movie was to introduce the franchise and to set the stage for more G.I. Joe films to come. Normally it’s not that obvious, but Rise of Cobra had almost no storyline. I hope they fix that next time around.

Maybe my expectations were a little too high, but I was really disappointed. I say rent it but “only if it’s free.”

SHOULD KIDS SEE IT?
It’s PG-13 for the violence which isn’t really that bad. The two main female characters wear tight-fitting and low-cut outfits, but if you have seen a trailer you have seen those.

Conversation Starter
Three Simple Questions (with Answers You May Be Looking for):


  1. What are some of the messages or themes you observed in this movie?
  2. How do you suppose we—as serious Christ-followers—should react to this movie?
  3. How can we move from healthy, Bible-based opinions about this movie to actually living out those opinions?

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Jonathan McKee

Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Guy's Guide to FOUR BATTLES Every Young Man Must Face; The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices; If I Had a Parenting Do Over; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers on TheSource4YM.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.

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