eZine 09.30.2008

Topics: Dealing With Hurt, Self Control, Anger, When Bad Things Happen

Pink- So What

Main Point of Discussion: Dealing with hurt… in a way that doesn’t hurt more in the long run!

The Music Video: “So What”
Pink’s “So What” song is #1 on iTunes this week and #2 on Billboard’s hot 100. Pink performed it live at the MTV Video Music Awards last month. Most kids are familiar with the song. The question is… have they really weighed out the message that this song is communicating?

Today’s youth are being taught to just react, disregarding the consequences. Their role models react this way, why should they act any different. Just a few weeks ago rapper Kanye West was arrested for a violent reaction to some paparazzis. Most kids today would find no fault with Kanye… after all, paparazzis are frustrating. Right?

So how should we react when bad things happen? This discussion will use the song as a springboard to discuss biblical truths about how we can react to hurt.

The video is #3 on iTunes right now and is popular all over the web. We suggest you talk with your tech guy (or a techy friend who is computer savy) and have him/her help you prepare to project this video on a big screen for the whole group to see. You can purchase the video for $1.99 or watch it free on many locations like this one (ironic, that this video is on AOL KIDS!)

Introducing the Music Video-SAY THIS:
“Every once in a while I like to look at the videos that people are watching. Here’s a song that is actually #1 right now on iTunes and #2 on the Billboard charts. I definitely can’t endorse the message of this video, nor do I think it’s a good thing for you to be randomly watching videos like this because they have subtle messages that you guys are definitely bright enough to pick up on. Let’s look at some of the subtle messages in this video, and then weigh them with what we know to be best for us in the long run.”

SHOW “So What” VIDEO.

Large Group questions-SAY THIS:

We just heard a lot of attitude in this song.

1. What are some of the messages you heard from this song?
2. What positive messages do you observe from this song? (perhaps the decision to not get walked all over?)
3. What negative messages do you observe from this song?

Let me read a small portion of the lyrics…

Wanna know what’s tougher than having “the talk” with your mom and dad? How about having “the talk” in front of millions of television viewers!

That’s exactly what MTV will do on their new show Sex…With Mom and Dad.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Talk
It’s a known fact that most parents are apprehensive when it comes to having “the talk” about sex with their children. It’s often an awkward moment on both sides of the generational gap, and for lots of reasons. Kids might be worried that their parents don’t really understand their highly sexual world, and parents may be worried that their kids know more than them! The end result is, too often, these fears prevent the conversation from ever taking place.

MTV hopes to change that.

At 7:00 p.m. EST on Monday, September 29th, MTV will launch their brand new show called Sex…With Mom and Dad. Each half-hour episode will feature a family that’s working through the tough issues of dating, sex, and relationships with renowned addiction and sex therapist Dr. Drew Pinsky. (After a quick commercial, you can view the show’s trailer here.)

The 3-Part Prescription
Each episode is broken down into three segments. First, Dr. Drew will meet the family in a neutral setting so he can get a feel for the problem, and the personalities involved in it. Subjects ranging from safe sex practices to homosexuality to “manwhores” and much more will be fair game.

The second segment of each show will center on sex-related activities that the parent(s) and the child must do together. A boy might have to drive his mom around town on “The Bonk Tour” showing her all the places he’s had sex, or a young girl might have to go condom shopping with her dad. One teenager whose mom is worried he doesn’t choose “quality women” will be sent on “A Real ?Blind’ Date” where he will spend time with several girls, while blindfolded, forcing him to pick the girl before he sees her.

Finally, the family reconvenes with Dr. Drew to discuss the success or failure of the assignments and whether or not the family has agreed upon a solution for the problem. The hope is that barriers between parents and children will be broken down, thus improving the relationship and paving the way for future conversations on the touchy subject.

MTV believes “that if families can talk about sex, they can talk about anything.” Their website promises a show that is “shockingly frank, upbeat, and funny.” MTV’s not taking any chances on the “shockingly frank” part, so they’re giving the show a strong dose of Dr. Drew.

Who’s Drew?
Dr. Drew Pinsky is a board-certified doctor who specializes in addiction therapy. Though he is highly educated and has authored several medical books, he is best known for hosting the late night radio show, Loveline, which airs on rock stations and adult talk stations around the country five nights a week.

He and Ted Stryker host the show together, but celebrities like Adam Carolla and Lindsay Lohan occasionally drop in or call in to help out. The show is very sexual and incredibly graphic in nature. These archives of the radio show reveal that it’s often downright filthy, as well…

From beginning to end, We both loved Eagle Eye, and are not embarrassed to say it.

Jerry Shaw (LaBeouf) and Rachel Holloman (Monaghan) are two strangers thrown together by a mysterious phone call from a woman they have never met. Threatening their lives and family, she pushes Jerry and Rachel into a series of increasingly dangerous situation, using the technology of everyday life to track and control their every move. As the situation escalates, these two ordinary people become the country’s most wanted fugitives, who must work together to discover what is really happening – and more importantly, why.

Todd’s Word: As I said, I loved this popcorn-entertainment, action movie, but if you are not willing to check out your brain and just enjoy…you’ll probably hate it. Here’s why: the premise is so completely far fetched and yet still believable enough to keep my interest, so I was willing to go where they took me. Secondly, as I have said before (see Transformers review), I love Shia LaBeouf. He’s solid in this movie, bringing his quick wit and “aww shucks” personality, and if that’s not enough they brought in Michael Chiklis and Billy Bob Thorton to round out a great cast.

Jonathan’s Word: I have to agree. It was fun. My 15 year old son and I saw it together. We enjoyed it throughout. I never looked at my watch once…

O.K., I’m just going to say it…Iron Man is the best superhero movie ever!!

Iron Man is the action-packed story of Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), who is the CEO of Stark Industries which produces advance weapon systems for the U.S. military. Stark lives the life of a wealthy playboy, but on a trip to Afghanistan where he demonstrates a new weapon called Jericho, his convoy is attacked by terrorists. Tony is wounded by a Stark Industries missile, held hostage and forced to rebuild a Jericho. Instead he uses his intelligence and ingenuity to construct an indestructible suit of armor to escape his captors. Once home, Tony builds a better suit of armor and with the help of his personal assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) and best friend Jim Rhodes (Terrence Howard), Tony is Iron Man.

There have been some really lame comic book movies that have been released in that last few years. The Hulk, The Punisher, Electra, and Dare Devil but there have been some really good comic book movies too. Movies like the Spiderman and Fantastic Four films, Superman Returns, and Batman Begins and it looks like we can expect to see several more coming out this summer. Without any doubt Iron Man is in the second category and I personally put it at the top of the list.

At the risk of sounding like a fanboy, Iron Man is true to the comic and Robert Downey Jr. is cast perfectly as the quick-witted, wealthy Tony Stark. His performance is strong and believable throughout the film. Whether it’s Downey, Palthrow, Howard, or Bridges the cast brings the characters to life and Favreau’s direction is simply amazing…

I picked up the 10-Minute Talks several weeks ago and finally had a chance to use it over the weekend. The stories are so captivating that I kept my audience focused the entire time. This book is a must have for youth ministries. I also like the supplemental CD, it has the outline which you can print so I didn’t need to mark up my book. Great job.
-Jason Chan, One Family Church, Alameda, CA

I really like this book. I feel like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I work another job full time so it’s nice to have some quick and easy talks that don’t take hours to write.
-Brad Walston, West Palm Beach, FL

I really have come to enjoy this book because it hits the issues that my students are facing head on, and it gives scripture to explore for them. It also comes with a complete small group curriculum for each lesson! That helps me out in itself to prepare my adult staff and equip them with questions to ask and even what to say during their small group time. I highly recommend this book to youth workers who are ministering to the church’d teenager and the un-churched! Thanks Jonathan for your hard work and wisdom on this book!
-Scott Dozer
Student Pastor, ThornCreek Church, Thornton, CO

I work with grades 5-12. I recently hosted a night of fun and fellowship with our preteen group. I had 76 5th and 6th graders attend for our Dead Fish Olympics (an idea from your site, it was a HIT!!). I closed the evening with one of Jonathan’s 10 minute talks. I spoke about putting your faith into action so that it is not dead…like the fish. The story made me cry as I was preparing for the night and had a huge impact on the students. They were attentive, which we all know is hard for 6th grade boys. They asked questions when I finished….one boy shared a story of his own! I am very impressed with the book. I was nervous when I first got it because I thought it was something that I would never use and it was just another resource to fill up my shelves. I was so wrong. Once I dug into it a little bit and understood how to use it, I loved it!
-Charlie Conder, Grayson United Methodist, Grayson, GA

Recently I have been a bit distressed because I have been having a difficult time finding quality, relevant material to use in my Youth Ministry. Stuff is either too dorky or too deep and spiritual for my new Christian kids to understand. The 10-minute talks that Jonathan provides are not only relevant, but they catch the attention of my students. The questions are a good mix of entry level and deep. Having this book makes my job a lot easier.
-Neal Thorne, Canby Christian Church, Canby, OR

I’ve used two of your stories so far (New Beginning & American Dream) as a foundation of a youth group message. Both times the kids and volunteer staff were captivated (definitely a rarity in junior high ministry), and both times parents spoke to me during the week about my message-which means the kids went home and talked about it (another rarity). I’ve been doing youth work for 27 years. This works! 10 Minute Talks is a valuable resource. Thanks again for providing ideas and materials that make my ministry flow!
-Becky Reilly, Lakehills Covenant Church, El Dorado Hills, CA

And we’ve had several people who have been actually just reading the talks outloud…

10-Minute Talks is awesome!!!! I used it for the 1st time tonight to teach middle schoolers and high schoolers. As I was reading the story all eyes were on me……the students were all into the story/talk, I couldn’t believe it……they actually were listening and you could see that they were really thinking “who was in their back seat”. I am so excited about this book and what the teens will get from it. I can’t wait until next week!
-Michele Holloman, St. Mary’s Grove OFWB Church, Benson, NC