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 | Jonathan’s Resource Ezine |
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
- Youth Culture Window: Teen Narcissists
- An Idea You Can Use: Using The Book of Eli for Movie Clip Discussions
- Jonathan in Person: Jonathan will be doing his CONNECT workshop in Amarillo, TX on August 13th and 14th
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Narcissist-[one who displays an] inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
Kate is becoming more and more concerned about her son, Chris, a high school freshman.
Since 2nd grade Chris has been friends with Zack. Kate has always liked Zack, but some things are beginning to bother her.
She observes Chris giving in constantly to what Zack wants to do and agreeing with Zack on most issues, as well as with what Zack deems as important. She’s starting to wonder if Chris has developed a habit of denying his real feelings and opinions when Zack is around. She also notices Zack frequently belittling Chris in ways that disturb her.
Kate knows she’s had to get used to the fact that bonding is different for boys than girls, and that boys often find it hysterical to call each other names. Still she’s uneasy. In the past she figured Zack was good for Chris because he was more outgoing than her son; she even admired that Zack was viewed as popular-yet chose to spend much of his time with Chris over the years.
Now Kate’s beginning to wonder if that was such a good thing.
Kate isn’t irritated when other teens are around, so she’s made a conscious decision to try and track her reactions to Zack to see if she can identify what her growing angst is all about. The results?
2. So does Zack’s self-righteous air. Chris and Zack are basketball teammates, and Kate notices that when Chris plays well, Zack usually has to one up him (okay, that’s #3).
3. Zack speaks as if he’s right all the time. Even when Zack’s chatting with Kate, if she inserts a different point of view, Zack seems to puff up and tell her why her thoughts, opinions, or feelings are wrong. She knows adolescence is a time for kids to figure out who they are and what they believe, so she likes challenging them to see various sides of issues. Somehow, though, when Kate’s talking to Zack, she begins feeling…stupid! Why?
4. It’s his tone! (Kate’s finally figuring this out.) She says to herself, he’s talking to me in a well-anyone-with-a-brain-knows-how-right-I-am-and-how-insane-your-point-of-view-is tone of voice!
Kate’s mind flashes to Zack’s parents, Don and Cindy-who drive her (and the other basketball parents) crazy. They go on and on about Zack and his accomplishments. The other parents root for all the kids on the team, but not Don and Cindy. They look startled and even a little frazzled when someone on Zack’s team plays well and gets attention. And rather than cheering for that kid like the rest of the parents, Don and Cindy increase their bragging about the newest training, etc., that-who else?-Zack is into.
Kate asks herself, Wow, is this the only way Zack can get his parents to love and accept him? When he’s the superstar? The top dog? The very best? Is Zack allowed to be wrong without being made to feel he’s stupid?
Kate’s been reading about teen development and knows it’s normal for them to go through a fairly narcissistic stage-but it’s also something they usually outgrow. But will Zack? And are Zack’s parents full-blown narcissists…
Main Point of Discussion: Doing God’s will-even when the alternative seems safer and more attractive.
The Movie Clip: “It’s not right to keep that book hidden away; it’s meant to be shared with others; it’s meant to be spread. Isn’t that what you want?”
The Book of Eli is a great movie with many clips that provoke discussion. It features Denzel Washington as the main character on a mission in post-nuclear America to bring the only remaining copy of the Bible somewhere “west.” The film is quite gritty and violent at times, but at the core of it is a hunger and thirst for God and purpose in life.
The clip we’re using for this particular discussion features Eli about to leave a semi-civilized hamlet and continue his journey-but he’s stopped by Carnegie (played by Gary Oldman), the big cheese in town who’s learned that Eli carries “the book”…and wants it in order to fulfill his power-hungry, evil purposes.
Introducing the Clip:
Today I want to show you a clip from the movie The Book of Eli. Some of you have seen this movie already, but for those who haven’t, it features Denzel Washington as the main character on a mission in post-nuclear America to bring the only remaining copy of the Bible somewhere “west.” The clip we’re using features Eli about to leave a town and continue his journey-but he’s stopped by Carnegie and his gun-toting gang of henchmen. Carnegie is the big cheese in town who’s just learned that Eli carries “the book”…and wants it in order to fulfill his power-hungry, evil purposes. Let’s take a look at this scene.
Scene Script:
BEGIN CLIP AT 49 minutes and 20 seconds (in Chapter 12), just after Eli leaves the store.
Eli: Only one way to find out.
Carnegie: Look, I need that book. I mean…I want the book. And you. But if you make me choose, I’ll kill ya-I’ll take the book.
Eli: Why? Why do you want it?
Carnegie: I grew up with it. I know its power. And if you read it, then so do you. That’s why they burned them all after the war. (pausing; ramping up his argument) Hey, just stayin’ alive is an act of faith; building this town is an even bigger act of faith, but they don’t understand that. None of them. And I don’t have the right words to help them, but the book does. I admit…I’ve had to do things…many, many things I hate to build this, I confess that…(walking closer to Eli) but if we have that book, I wouldn’t have to. Now imagine…imagine how different, how righteous this little world could be if we had the right words for our faith. (raising his voice) Well, people would truly understand why they’re here and what they’re doing and wouldn’t need any of the uglier motivations. (whispering) It’s not right to keep that book hidden away; it’s meant to be shared with others; it’s meant to be spread. Isn’t that what you want?
Eli: With all my heart and soul. (pauses) I always believed that I’d find a place where this book belonged, where it was needed…but I haven’t found it yet. (walks away)
Carnegie: (pauses, shakes his head, then mutters to himself) I love this guy. (pauses, now chuckles) I love this guy! (walks up to and whispers to head henchman, Redridge) Shoot him…please.
END CLIP AT the 52-minute mark, just before the shooting begins.
Transitional Statement:
In this scene Eli is faced with a choice: Give up his hard life walking the barren highways in search for a place he hasn’t seen in favor of an easier existence-all he has to do is give Carnegie “the book.” No big deal, right? The only problem is that giving in to Carnegie equals giving up on God’s will for Eli’s life.
Divide into Small Groups:
Let’s go ahead and split up into our discussion groups, and then afterward we’ll come back together for a final word…
This year I have already had several chances to do my CONNECT workshop! This is my favorite workshop to teach-we always have a great time! In August, I’ll be doing this workshop in Amarillo, TX. Come join us for this fun little Friday night and Saturday morning workshop in a retreat setting!
“Connect” -Training Seminar
What: This Friday-Saturday workshop equips youth workers, both paid and volunteer, in connecting with today’s teenagers.
Where: The event will take place at Ceta Canyon Camp & Retreat Center located in the beautiful Palo Duro Canyon near Happy, Texas. Click HERE for a map and directions to the camp.
When: We’ll begin Friday, August 13 with dinner at 6 PM followed by Jonathan’s training from 7 PM – 9 PM. We’ll continue Saturday, August 14 with breakfast at 8 AM, followed by training from 8:30 AM – 12:00 PM, then we’ll share lunch before parting ways.
Cost: The seminar, three meals, and lodging all for $79. ($49 without lodging) See here for more details.
REGISTER: Easy! Jump on this web page for more details and to register.
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Jonathan McKee
Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Guy's Guide to FOUR BATTLES Every Young Man Must Face; The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices; If I Had a Parenting Do Over; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers on TheSource4YM.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.