Ask The Source

Does my wife have to be hands on in my ministry?


I was wondering about the importance of having your wife actively involved in your ministry. I am in college and I am not yet married but I believe I have found the person I am supposed to marry. The problem is that recently she changed majors and is planning on having a type of ministry in family law. This seems to throw a kink in things because she would not be able to actively help like if she was a teacher or something, demanding a little less time. This is something I am seeking the Lord on but I am seeking wise counsel like the scriptures say. So, could you give me some direction.

Thank you, I love your site and God Bless. – Isaiah 25:1

Steven Castello, Birmingham, Al



Dump her!

Wait- I was kidding! But I do have a comment from all my friends who are teachers. (who have all that spare time!) “Ha!”

Seriously- I've seen it work both ways. I've seen youth workers where both the husband and the wife were involved knee deep in the ministry. I know when my wife and I started, she was very involved. But the more children we had, the busier she became being a mom . . . and she eventually helped very little. Maybe an event or two a year.

I've also seen it where both were NOT involved: women youth workers who's husbands weren't involved at all, and men youth workers who's wives weren't involved at all. And guess what? Last year when someone asked me what youth worker I would hire, of all that I had worked with in the last decade . . . without hesitation I named a woman whose husband wasn't even involved. It didn't affect her ministry one bit- an incredible youth ministry.

So I wouldn't worry too much about her not being involved in your ministry. I WOULD, however, see if your lifetime goals seem to match. For example, when you have kids some day, does she expect you to quit and stay home with the kids? Do you expect her to? Those are good things to talk about BEFORE you say “I do.”

Hope that helps.

God Bless,
Jonathan McKee
The Source for Youth Ministry


Jonathan McKee

Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Guy's Guide to FOUR BATTLES Every Young Man Must Face; The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices; If I Had a Parenting Do Over; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers on Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.

Reply your comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked*