Ezine Archives

eZine 01.23.2001


TheSource4YM.com
Jonathan’s Resource Ezine

Weekly Resources, Ideas and Articles from The Source for Youth Ministry
Tuesday, January 23, 2001

In This Issue

If you aren’t a subscriber of this EZINE and would like to subscribe – it’s free – just pop on www.TheSource4YM.com and sign up in the upper right hand corner.

Flipping Through Playboy Magazine, PART II: A Word to Men from Steve Farrar

by Jonathan McKee
January 23, 2001

Each week I have something for youth-workers. Last week I sent the first of a two-week email addressed to the men.

PART I: REVIEW
Steve Farrar, Author of “Point Man,” “Finishing Strong” and “Anchor Man,” encourages and challenges men through his books, and at Promise Keepers events nationally. More than that . . . Steve’s a great guy who cares about men and their relationship with God!

I asked Steve for a word of encouragement specifically to men in ministry. He gave me permission to use an few pages from his Book “Point Man.”

From Steve Farrar’s Book “Point Man”

C. S. Lewis once said, “if you look upon ham and eggs and lust, you have already committed breakfast in your heart.” Whether it’s an attractive woman or a heaping plate of cholesterol, the principle is the same. There is a difference between looking and looking with lust.

A one-woman kind of man is a man who demonstrates his commitment by disciplining his eyes.

As I was looking for Time, I picked up Newsweek and flipped through it, then US News and World Report, and before I realized it I had picked up Playboy and was rapidly turning its pages. Suddenly I came to my senses and thought, What in the world am I doing?. . .

I let my wife down.

PART II: HOW DO YOU DO IT?
A one-woman kind of man must have a predetermined plan fixed in his mind so he can withstand the sneak attacks of the enemy. We never know when we are going to be tempted with our eyes. That’s why the plan must be predetermined. We must anticipate a tempting situation in advance and decide beforehand how we will deal with it. That’s the principle behind civic defense. It’s also the principle of sexual defense.

Let’s talk about traveling one more time. I’ve found that many guys really have a tough time when they’re away from home.

As I write at this desk in a hotel room in Chicago, just four feet from my chair is a television with a card on top advertising five pay movies. Two of them are pornographic. I could reach over right now, flip on the TV, and punch in the wrong channel and have instant pornography. And no one would ever know. My wife would never know, my kids would never know, my friends would never know.

Sometimes it takes extreme measures to be a one-woman kind of man with your eyes. I recently read about a man who took unusual steps to maintain his special kind of blind love. This Christian businessman does a fair amount of traveling and has come to the conclusion that his ability to fight temptation on the road tends to weaken after about three days.

If he’s going to be in a hotel longer than three days, he calls the hotel to make a request. He asks the manager to remove the TV from his room. Usually the manager says they can’t do that. The man then politely points out that the maintenance man could do it in a matter of minutes. If the manager wants this man’s business for five or six nights of lodging, the set will have to go.

The problem for most men is not working on the road. It is the leisure time we have on the road. W. T. Taylor exuded the wisdom when he said, “Temptation rarely comes in working hours. It is in their leisure time that men are made or marred.”

Removing a television set is extreme. But I respect such a man. He knows himself and recognizes his weakness. He knows that after a long day of exhausting meetings or sales calls, he is especially susceptible with his leisure time. So in order to keep himself in check, he takes extreme measures.

Jesus Himself advocated taking extreme measures in certain situations:

    You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery”: but I say to you , that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her as committed adultery with her already in his heart.

    And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you: for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

    And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you: for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to go into hell (Matthew 5:27-30, NASB).

Notice that Jesus didn’t say if your eye offends you, put on sunglasses, He didn’t suggest that if your right hand causes you to stumble, put it in an Ace bandage. He used hyperbole to make a clear statement. Hyperbole is the use of extravagant exaggeration to make a point. Notice that Jesus is making the same point we noticed earlier. He is talking about looking at a woman with lust.

The obvious lesson is that we must deal with the source of the temptation. You can pluck your eye out if you want. But it might be just as effective to unbolt the TV next time you’re at the Marriott. The principle our Lord is teaching is simply this: There are times in the Christian life when extreme action is not only appropriate, but necessary.

I’ve had to learn to be prepared for temptation when I travel without my wife. I’m talking Red Alert, Code 1. When I check into a hotel, I am prepared for battle. I am like a marine ready to hit the beach at Iwo Jima. I’m wearing camouflage combat fatigues, my face is greased, I’ve got an M-16 and a full set of pearl-handled socket wrenches with my initials engraved on the handle (you never know what size bolts you’re going to come across).

I draw up my battle plan before I ever walk out my front door. My strategy is clear, and the tactics are non-negotiable. Before I ever walk into the hotel, I have predetermined how I will respond to the pornography that surrounds the newspapers on the newsstand. I have determined in advance that I would not more pick up a pornographic magazine than I would a live grenade.

I had decided in advance how I am going to handle the temptation of private pornographic television. Your tactics may be to unbolt the set or to throw a bedspread over it. Or maybe you can write down in your Daytimer a log of every TV show you watch wile on your business trip. When you get home, show it to your wife or to your pastor. That will force you to explain your actions. I will also keep you from sin.

Extreme, you say? You bet. And that’s exactly what Jesus was telling us to do.

I can promise you this. If we don’t get extreme with the temptation of our eyes, then it will get extreme with us.

Like this book? Check it out, along with Steve’s other books, “Finishing Strong” and “Anchor Man.” Use the below link to order the book on Amazon.com


Dynamic Speakers
If you would like to bring out Steve Farrar or another dynamic speaker, check out Jonathan’s speaker page for some great recommendations:

https://thesource4ym.com/speaker/index.html

0 Comments
Share

Jonathan McKee

Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Guy's Guide to FOUR BATTLES Every Young Man Must Face; The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices; If I Had a Parenting Do Over; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers on TheSource4YM.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.

Reply your comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked*