Main Point: Pre-marital sex has many serious consequences and must be avoided.
Discussion Starter: 16 and Well Adjusted
16 and Pregnant, an MTV reality TV show, follows the tumultuous lives of teenage girls who’ve gotten pregnant and now face the difficulties of being a parent…before they can even vote. Customary for MTV, the show has its share of critics who denounce the concept because it possibly glamorizes teen pregnancy.
Well, the sketch group Landline has evidently had enough of MTV’s reality show, so they took matters into their own hands. The skit company shot a video entitled 16 and Well Adjusted that focuses on one girl in high school who is NOT pregnant, who makes good decisions, who will go to college and who gets to “follow her dreams.”
The group’s hilarious spoof rips off MTV’s genre right down to the smallest of details, even using similar in-show graphics. The sketch has a few slightly edgy elements to it (a bleeped swear word, a girl’s water breaking, etc.), but the point is simple and clear: there are distinct advantages in avoiding pregnancy during high school. I would not hesitate at all showing this clip to my kids.
Introducing the Clip:
Most of you are familiar with MTV’s television show called 16 and Pregnant, regardless of whether you watch it or not. You probably know it follows the hectic lives of girls who’ve become pregnant in high school. Watching the show is heartbreaking because you see what these girls could have done or been, but now, they’re too busy taking care of a baby to pursue their dreams. I want you to take a look at this funny little clip that spoofs the show on MTV. It’s called 16 and Well Adjusted and tells the story of a girl who is ISN’T pregnant in high school…and what her life is like as a result of that reality. Afterword, we’ll talk about the differences between her life and theirs.
Show the Clip:
Alright, that was pretty funny, but some of it made us think about serious stuff, too – even truly sad stuff. We heard from a girl who put everything in clear terms: because she wasn’t pregnant, her life looked very different than those girls who were pregnant. The whole show on MTV – and the spoof I just showed you – centers on an unspoken event: pre-marital sex. It’s rarely mentioned, but it’s the culprit behind the sad reality these girls find themselves in. Fortunately, the Bible has some teaching for us on this subject. Let’s take a look at what it is, then re-group for a final word.
Divide into Small Groups:
Let’s go ahead and split up into our discussion groups, and then afterward we’ll come back together for a final word.
CLICK HERE for a quick training article on how to maximize your small groups using our small group format—a great resource to equip your small group leaders.
- AROUND THE CIRCLE: As we get started, let’s all take a second to share our names and whether we’ve watched 16 and Pregnant on MTV.
- ASK A FEW: Think about some of the most popular TV shows on TV today: Jersey Shore, Glee, Teen Wolf, etc. In these shows, describe some of the activities that the writers of the show convey to audiences as normal. (Some answers you may hear: Dating is of prime importance, sex is acceptable, homosexuality is normal and acceptable…)
- ASK SOMEONE: Just to make sure we’re all on the same page going forward, let me give you a “Health Class Pop Quiz.” What do you do to get pregnant? (Leaders – You have sex!)
- ASK A FEW: That funny little clip we watched made it sound like this girl was the only girl at school who wasn’t pregnant, thus, the only girl at school NOT having sex. Further, she presented it as though she was an outsider as a result of that. Does the environment you’re in at school do the same thing? Does it make those who are not having sex seem like they are outsiders? If so, in what way?
- ASK A FEW: Having sex before marriage is called “pre-marital sex.” What are some of the risks associated with pre-marital sex? (Leaders – Pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, broken hearts, sin, etc.)
- ASK A FEW: What do you think God thinks about pre-marital sex and why?
Leaders Say This:
Let me be really clear about something. God created sex for us to enjoy. Sex is an amazing gift that God designed in the very beginning of time. Literally, Adam was alone in the garden and God said, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” And POOF! A naked woman. To make it clear to Adam, God said, “Go ahead and multiply!” In other words, “Go for it!”
The Bible is never ashamed to talk about how great sex is between two people when they commit to each other for life through marriage. In Proverbs 5:19 it says, “Young man, rejoice in the wife of your youth… May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”
The sad fact is, some people have taken that very cool gift of sex and exploited it and twisted it.
Everyone here would probably agree that it would be wrong for a 30-year-old man to have sex with a 12-year-old girl, right? Why? Because that’s not what sex is designed for.
Sadly, people twist sex in other ways that are unhealthy. Sex with multiple partners, sex with someone just for fun, with “no strings attached.” The world is trying to convince us that hooking up and other kinds of premarital sex are fun, when in actuality, this kind of promiscuity eventually causes hurt. (Think about it. Be honest. Do you think that a man and women in a monogamous relationship are ever thankful that their partner was promiscuous in the past?)
Let’ examine the truth of the matter. Sex is designed for a man and a woman who are committed to each other for life. It’s something unique that they get to share together, just the two of them. No sneak peaks with other people, no multiple partners… just a special gift for a man and a wife.
The media usually makes it look like “saving sex for marriage” is ludicrous.
This funny clip suggests that someone who refrains from sex isn’t that stupid after all. Whodathunkit!
Read the following passage:
Ephesians 5:1-7 (NIV)
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person– such a man is an idolater– has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.
Leaders Say This:
The words sexual immorality here literally mean, “sex outside of marriage.” This is one of those passages where the Bible makes it clear that we should steer clear of this. In the book of I Corinthians he actually tells us to “flee” sexual immorality. In other words, run away from anything that might tempt us to rob ourselves of this amazing gift that God wants us to enjoy with our spouse some day.
So, we had a laugh at the video clip we watched earlier, but in real life, pre-marital sex is no laughing matter. Just ask the girls who are pregnant on MTV’s show. Just ask the young men who have had their hearts broken. Just ask the thousands and thousands of teenagers who’ve contracted an STD because of their sexual history.
In the end, if given the choice, those who have already had sex will tell you they’d rather be 16 and Well Adjusted than 16 and Pregnant.
What we learned during our time together is that pre-marital sex is sinful and that it has consequences both spiritually and physically. In fact, pre-marital sex often brings about emotional, financial, and social consequences, too. God’s Word tells us very clearly to imitate Christ – who never sinned sexually or in any other way for that matter – and to avoid those people who seek sin. There are lots of reasons to be obedient in this matter.
But for some of us in here now, or some that we know and love at our school and in our community, this message is coming too late. Maybe you’ve already had pre-marital sex and have paid a price for it. Maybe you know someone who is having pre-marital sex or is on the brink of it. What will you do as a result of what you’ve learned?
No, seriously. What will you do? I’m going to give you a moment to ponder that important question.
(Pause for a moment to give them time to think.)
I hope that you’ll get help, first from God, and then from one of our adult leaders. God is ready to forgive you of that sin, but you have to ask Him for it and then live your life according to His standard from here on. But, you don’t have to live life alone! You’re surrounded by lots of great adult leaders who’ve been where you are. They know the struggles and temptations. And they love you enough to make the sacrifice of being here every week to make a difference in your life. I sincerely hope you’ll trust one of us to have a life-changing conversation with you before you leave.
We want you to be obedient to God in every aspect of your life, especially sexually. We know how serious of an issue this is. Let us help you every way we can. After we pray, hang around if you want to talk to us.
Close in Prayer
Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Bullying Breakthrough; The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices; If I Had a Parenting Do Over; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers on TheSource4YM.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.