eZine 03.29.2011

“My kid is going to do it anyway . . . might as well let him drink at home.”

How’s that for high expectations and strong guidance?

This pessimistic and enabling perspective isn’t as rare as you might think. I’ve heard it from numerous parents-even in the church.

After decade-long declines, drug and alcohol use among high school students spiked in 2009. In 2008 “only” 35 percent of ninth-to-twelfth graders surveyed drank alcohol in the thirty days prior to when they answered the survey. In 2009 the number jumped to 39 percent. In the same twelve months, marijuana use jumped from 32 percent to 38 percent, and the use of the synthetic drug ecstasy jumped from 6 percent to 10 percent.

Robyn Vanover, coordinator of Martin County’s (Florida) Safe and Drug Free Schools program, is one educator who has watched this trend. After noticing a similar shifting in her county’s 2008 Florida Youth Substance Abuse Survey, she said the spike could be attributed to the low expectations of parents.

Many parents are giving up and letting their kids do whatever they want. These low expectations give kids permission to try at-risk behaviors, rendering them susceptible to drugs and alcohol.

It doesn’t have to be this way!

Vanover said that knowledgeable, engaged, attentive, and communicative parents can make a huge difference. She believes that parents need to set the bar high. “The number one reason kids give as to why they don’t use drugs and alcohol is ‘my parents,‘” Vanover said. “The main reason is always, ‘My parents have an expectation of me.’“20

Where do you set the bar?

I admit, it’s hard to set the bar high today when…

Jonathan McKee, president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of numerous youth ministry books including the brand new Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation, and the award winning book Do They Run When They See You Coming? He speaks and trains at camps, conferences, and events across North America, and provides free resources for youth workers internationally on his website, TheSource4YM.com and TheSource4Parents.com.