For this skit you’ll need 2 actors and a yellow glove. Style is combo of Johnny Bravo motions (fast then stop suddenly) with game show announcer voice. It is important for all lines to be loud for it to be funny and to over dramatize everything.
Skit begins with both walking towards each other from opposite sides of stage to center stage, A1 has glove.
A1 - how are you doing? (Shaking hands)
A2 - I'm doing great. Hey, you look like you've had the ever-living snot beaten out of you
A1 - I have, with the help of the Desenta-esteem-amater (pulling the glove from back pocket)
A2 - The Desenta-esteem-amater…what's that?
A1 - Well, you find your self in an every day Christian trial, you selfishly think you're the only one who suffers from it, then you let the Desenta-esteem-amater beat your self up for it.
A2 - That's amazing
A1 - Would you like a demonstration?
A2 - Sure.
A1 - (puts on glove) I have a hard time hearing from God, He must not love me!! (Moves hand with glove on away from self, and then hit self in head knocking to ground)
A2 - (moves to A1, holds hand out) How do you feel?
A1 - I feel great (a2 helps a1 up), and the best part is when I use the Desenta-esteem-amater to beat my self up, I get a sick and twisted sense of satisfaction.
A2 - Do the wonders ever cease?
A1 – Noooo.
A2 - Can I try?
A1 – Yeees. (pulls glove off and offers it to A2 but slaps A2 in the process)
A2 - (puts glove on and stands as if thinking) I haven't been on a date in three years; I'm never going to get married. (Punches stomach twice then face knocking to ground)
A1 - (moves to A2 and offers hand) How do you feel friend?
A2 - I feel good - in a really bad way.
A1 – Awesome! (pulling A2 up)
A2 - But doesn't the Bible say to throw our cares on Jesus, that He's the author and finisher of our faith.
A1 - It takes time to believe that. You can have your own pity party right now.
A2 - Why didn't I think of that, I'm so stupid (smacks self in face with glove)
A1 - Hey Brian, let’s use the Desenta-esteem-amater to drive our selves into a hopeless depression so we can exploit the sympathy of others.
A2 - Let's go! (A1 and A2 start walking off stage A1 putting glove on)
A1 - (after walking off A1 pokes head back out) Hey folks, if you want to get the attention of others by feeling sorry for your self at the expense of the cross, then get your Desenta-esteem-amater today! (glove comes out and grabs neck and pulls behind curtain)
Added by Aaron Sutton