My name is David R. Smith and I help manage resources and questions for The Source for Youth Ministry.
I just received your email about “cutting,” and wanted to offer a few thoughts.
First, let me say that “cutting,” or self-injury (as it’s known in medical circles) is not something new. For several years, teenagers who internalize their pain (for various and/or multiple reasons) have begun to cut themselves. Those same kids were stereotyped as being overly emotional, hence the title “Emo.”
Some of the more popular forms of self-injury include, cutting with a knife or razor to the point of bleeding, and also using a lit cigarette or cigarette lighter to make burn wound. While this is not exclusive to girls only, by far, more girls self-injure than guys. Nor is cutting relegated to young people. Some adults cut themselves, as well.
Telling signs of cutting might include abnormal scars or marks on a person’s wrists, arms, legs, thighs, and stomach. Sometimes the person will wear long sleeves and/or pants to cover up the marks…even in warm weather.
There are several reasons why teens choose to cut, but they can – to a large extent – be reduced to a cry for help. Some students cut to try and cope with the pain affiliated with raw emotions, growing pressure, high stress levels, or dissolving relationships. Not knowing how to navigate many of these real life issues, many teens turn to what they do “know how to do,” even though it is very dangerous.
Try and follow their “psychology.”
- I hurt. (for whatever reasons)
- I can’t tell this to you, even though it’s real. (You won’t listen…I don’t know how to tell you…you will judge me…I don’t trust you…and many other reasons)
- I will hurt myself to give a voice to my pain. (maybe in the ways mentioned above)
- (After the self-injury) I feel relieved because I have expressed myself, finally.
Typically, when students cut themselves, what they are in essence doing is allowing their inner pain to be evidenced in their marking, scars, or wounds. Their scars are intended to say, “Don’t you see I need to talk?!” The irony is, sometimes the scars are covered to keep from being exposed.
Michael, I think this is definitely a great reason for youth workers to be focused on relational ministry with our teenagers. If our teens truly sensed that they were in a trusting and strong relationship, the barrier to communication might not propagate the self-injury. Check out our Connect
workshop and seminar on the subject of building and capitalizing on godly relationships with teenagers.
Also, you might want to check out http://www.twloha.com/
. This is the website dedicated to the story and facts behind the “To Write Love On Her Arms,” campaign that fights the prevalence of self-injuring teens.
I hope this helps.
David R. Smith
Resource DevelopmentThe Source for Youth Ministry